Living My Life Without YOU!

My lappy sits idly on my makeshift table and here I am staring desolately and trying to comprehend the new world that I am into. I used to go home with that far away look in my eyes, hoping, staring excitedly as I take the flight of stairs hurriedly into my room and immediately opening my lappy. No one knew how that 5 o'clock means to me every afternoon. Not only that I am freed from the bondage of my daily slavery but also I know, it is a new life out there for me. But today, seems things are more different than the usual. My lappy is even more than yearning as to when will I enslave its pads and give life to those words that my heart dictates. Now, what makes things far more different, is, instead of the usual Lady Gaga ensemble, I am now dominated by the slow strums of Nina. And, indeed, things will be different. Starting from now. From the day that my mind took over my heart.

Now this mattress seems to complain on heavy I am. Perhaps because of a heay heart? A heavy mind? Or, a heavy burden in the pit of my stomach that even myself I cannot decipher. And, here goes Nina again, trying to revive my heart with her binge of high notes and psalms of endless love. But, nothing, nothing can ever be able to revive this slowly-dying feelings of mine. It may be too irrational, but, I guess, I just have to live with it - just live with it. Do I have to check my mails? Yes, I should. But nothing exciting is there. Only a newsletter from some whoever who, despite securing my mail security still has landed in some database which I abhore.

Ah, now, I remember, it used to be some emails that I receive from him. I remember, how vividly he used to describe what's in a days work for him. How he has told me that he is more than happy to receive my mails. But, I know, and I am certain, that before the entire conversation ends, something pops in - like a genie! And that genie will simply dominate our half hour conversation, nothing, nothing but all about that genie. And, I simply recoil and bid bye bye. These memories are all but makes things somber.

Perhaps, I should really learn how to take those flight of stairs slowly, unhurriedly, without anything to expect for but some Facebook notifications and - end. Or maybe this time, I can dwell on some surly individuals that I may chance upon some dark street and be in a quick bliss and take off. But maybe, I can be more gluttonous this time without bothering to see myself in the scale and simply throw my trainers. Now I remember some unfinished essay that I have deal with otherwise I lose business.As the list of comtemplations go on and on, I realize life without him means a total overhaul in some of routines but at the same time revisiting the old me of which I should have taken cared more rather than set the other me aside. I may sound a bit positive in this part but I guess this is what I should take when living a life without him.