An open letter from a mistress...

It is with great pride that I render myself a mistress. And, with heads high, I will never regret every second that I have dealt in being one. It took every ounce of my strength to swallow that lump in my throat everytime I am at the portal of this divine chamber. But deep in me, I know, I just followed my heart. God knows how much I love him that defying every holy commandment is but an understatement on every act of sin I committed. But I know no repentance.

Loathe me, scourge me, lash me with every defamatory clause you can come up with. But, I will never cease to love him. Abhore me up to the last thread of my breath, but I tell you this - no amount of life can explain what I have inside my heart and the joy of having him in me. Cast me away to hell, or to the darkest oblivion that mankind may picture from their minds. But, this time, I speak on my behalf and on every human being who have loved - wrongly.

Maybe someday I will find myself in a path where thorns are scattered for me to walk upon. Or tomorrow morning, I will chance upon a spit on my forehead just before the sun shines on my face. I expect all these. But, I will tell you, over and over again, that I will never be sorry.

I know no one whom I have wronged. The only wrong that I knew of is when I have loved him. I know, I am living a wretched soul that can never be bought by even a million pieces of silver to be traded over a murderer. Should I have opted to live differently instead? No. Whatever the life I am living now is already the result of whatever options I took in the past. Or maybe, I have been into a lot of hurting to see any wise options in front me. This is no revenge. This is me. And I am living this not because I need to justify my existence or that of human life itself.

Amidst tears, I will always continue to hold my head high, mightily, hurting, dying, torn but with a heart full of love. I stand without owing any excuses or explanations to anyone.